i'm disappointed in myself.. so so disappointed.. y am i now a possessive freak being jealousy n all at such insignificant issue.. or maybe its insignificant to others.. i hate myself for behaving in this way.. but i just couldn't help it.. i noe i say this all the time but my heart really ached like i was dying.. i noe i should trust him.. i mean.. he had the option not to tell me all abt them.. but he still did.. and i appreciate him for doing so.. in fact i was really proud of him i started telling the girls wat he did.. but when it happens again n again.. if u were me, wouldn't u get worried? anyone will say he's telling me cos there's nothing to hide and i myself knew that well enough.. but i just couldn't control my feelings! forgive me for defending myself.. it'll be funny if i don't feel anything at all.. or have that 'do i even care' kind of attitude.. am i right to say that? perhaps its the accumulation of everything that happened.. perhaps i really want this to work hence the perfectionist me is out to create havoc again.. or perhaps its just the hormonal imbalances.. its really hard to 'close one eye' and pretend to be understanding.. i'm only human and i have feelings? i really hope its just me thinking too much, way too much and nothing else..
Dear God, please bring this irksome fella in me away, vanish into thin air and never come back again.. please? sigh..
cHROn|cLEs
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