Perfect

If you haven't read this month's CLEO about finding Mr. Perfect in the not-so-fairy-tale world out there, here's roughly what it says..

We WOMEN always have our own long list of what Mr Perfect should be like.. tall, handsome, accomplished, listens to your say, and the list goes on.. But when a man searches for love, he has no idea what the perfect woman entails.. Though more than often we catch them indulging in their voluptuous desires, when it comes to serious matters, they just need someone who will love them because and despite of who they can sometimes be.. Comparing both, men are more fluid with their own set of standards unlike women, where we set our standards and boundaries so stringent it could be the reason why Mr. Perfect always loses his way en route to our happiness..

Now ask yourself, what is it that you really want? as opposed to what you're being told you want or is crucial.. keeping in mind that prince charming doesn't exist in this reality..

Oh, by the way, this article was written by a man.. So i really think its up to your discretion to ponder about this issue ya.. :)

i guess i was very much afflicted since don't know when.. there IS a problem.. or maybe are problems.. but i just can't figure wat exactly it is.. like wat i told darling.. i find myself living in the shadow of infidelity.. i'm not sure if tts the right way to say but.. anyways.. i kept having flashbacks of how exactly lies were being told, evidences eradicated n stuff, n i fear it will happen to me one day.. in fact my biggest fear is "it" happening already.. say i'm paranoid or even crazy.. but having gone through it myself and being there n then during the betrayal act, its hard not to think..

perhaps it was me being so obsessed that he's not telling me anything now.. or perhaps there's nothing to tell.. i want to know and yet when i knew, i get jealous.. a comment from darling, saying i have the right to get jealous.. in fact, if i don't get jealous shldn't he be worried instead? doesn't it mean tt he's insignificant to me? i feel really insecure.. i can't seem to even enter his world, talk abt fitting in.. i don't know where i stand, my significance to him.. am i even one of his priorities? i'm not asking to be the first, but at least the top few?

i know he's still not over her.. thou he kept it to himself.. its hard to let go when it happens like so out of a sudden.. thou i feel hurt somehow, like y did he wan to start a new r/s when he's not even ready? [oh wait, are we considered in a relationship?] but i feel worse when he don't even share his problems with me.. its to an extend i feel that we meet each other jus for the sake of meeting.. i know he's putting in effort, and i feel loved with all his little actions.. but sometimes i feel that we don't connect, or can't connect..

thinking back on wat i said, i don't wish to treat him like a rebound.. but looking at wat it is now, could it have been the other way round?

good luck for tmr's ACLS and tuesday's health assessment..
i hope i can pass.. :(

42 Days

yes! exactly 6 weeks frm now joy WILL BE BACK!!!! lalala.. counting counting..

i realised recently my way of destressing is shopping! or has it been tt all these while jus tt i din realise.. keke..
waiting for my old navy stuff to be delivered, plus my kate spade.. oh today i bought a customised laptop bag.. *grinz* and my microsoft office.. tts like the only need with the other wants.. hahaha..

looking forward to hug my dum dum laters!!! ahhhh!!!!

its TOMORROW!!!

finally.. 2 whole weeks without seeing him.. good thing tt he called almost everyday so i wun miss him as much.. hee..

exams coming lo.. both papers on the same week.. sheesh.. non-stop stress syndrome..
just hope for the best! :(

2 DAYS!

lala.. i feel elated jus by seeing the number! hee..

i skipped lecture this morning.. boo.. naughty girl am i not? oh wateva.. no exams for that module anyways.. :)

dearie's gona fulfill his superman dream in abt 3 hrs time! haas.. he's going skydiving!! he sure noes how to enjoy life eh.. hee.. jus pray tt he doesnt get stuck in some trees thou he said tts like almost impossible.. haha..

alrites.. see him very very soon den! :D

3 Days

yay.. can't wait till friday! :D
[we counted wrongly cos we aren't suppposed to count the day he flew ain't it? keke]
but maybe i'll not meet him if he's too tired.. oh well.. as long as he's back i'm happy enough.. hee..

assessments coming up the next 3 weeks:
1) ACLS theory test
2) management presentation
3) ACLS mega code
4) health assessment practical & theory
5) research presentation
6) APN presentation
7) research proposal

wish me luck.. :)

5 Days

lala.. today is ACLS day.. slightly better than i expected.. jus abit more complex than LSCN la.. they're testing on intubation thou.. dun ask me wat for when we are not allowed to intubate..

haiz.. i'm really really tired now.. probably cos of the assignment.. or maybe i'm really burned out.. when will all these be over??

6, 48 & 96 Days

Haas.. this is so stupid.. i'm memorising like 10 times those 3 numbers up there so i can type it down.. faints.. maybe i should jus do it one by one.. start counting down joy's return after dearie's back.. keke..

i finally finished my 2000 word assignment!! with editing and referencing and all the appendix done.. gosh.. tts alot of stuff to do can.. i'm never gona do O&G case studies ever again!!! grr..
tmr's school again!!! yay.. means i'm nearer to going back to work.. nearer to exams too thou.. :)

its less than a week before i can hug my dum dum!! hee.. he said he bought some stuff for me.. like clothes but he's not sure if they can fit me.. haa.. *wonders..