initially i tot of getting him a PS3 since its wat he yearned for.. but its kinda ex la.. maybe wait till i save more money.. so tt left me without any idea wat to give him.. not tt its a must to give gifts during valentines day but i tot its my way of showing appreciation.. den i tot.. y not just stick to the old fashioned way.. baking him something.. plus he's kind of a sweet tooth i realised.. so i decided.. muffins it shall be..
with the attachments and assignments all cramped together i din really have time to get ready for baking.. and i got my ingredients just the night before.. luckily i found a really sweet card tt says exactly how i feel, while we're slacking one fine day during attachment.. anyways.. i wanted to do a trial baking the night before since its such a loooooong time since i last baked.. but i was too tired after shift and fell asleep instead.. so i took the risk like "jus bake dun care if it turns out well".. haha.. the result.. looks nice but its kinda hard la.. but mommy did say it was still eatable.. :)
i decorated the card abit cos it was all too plain.. one day this idea suddenly came into mind and i tot it was quite cute.. 鼻涕虫 is wat he calls me and superman is him.. :)
i rushed to meet him cos he's on night.. his 2nd night.. geez.. wat a valentines eh.. oh well, its less than 15 mins.. the time i met him till he took cab n send me home.. its wasn't as wat i expected thou.. it was more of like.. jus pass him the muffins like i'm passing any other thing.. disappointed.. i don't know wat kinda feeling it was but my heart ached.. i dont know y.. maybe i was expecting too much from him.. haiz.. he did say it was really sweet thou.. and he felt bad he din get me anything.. or maybe it was when he said "i have no money to spend on you" tt i felt really bad.. its not abt him not getting anything.. i dun mind seriously [we did go for 'dinner' the other day].. but its the words he said.. my mood jus fell to zero stat when he said tt..
i hate myself for being so crazy most times.. i dont know exactly y but i reckon its me yearning wat i couldn't get.. i feel very much loved by him each time we're together.. but hate the part where we meet just once a week? i dont see myself as tt clingly.. i admit i can be sometimes.. i noe abt personal space and i seriously agree we must have.. but seeing him once a week and jus tt few hrs each time is really not enough for me.. i miss him everyday, every second, every minute.. but i dun feel it frm him.. he seemed to be having so much fun, enjoying himself more with his friends than with me.. he doesnt introduce me to his friends thou he knew most of mine.. i couldnt help but wonder, who am i to him? am i even considered his girlfriend, or even someone special?
perhaps it was really too fast.. frm knowing each other to getting really close.. perhaps we shld have settled our previous one before we jump into anything.. i must admit i havent let go tt FB(fucking bastard) initially when we got 'together'.. i was afraid i'm treating him like a rebound.. but seriously.. tt FB made me hate him on his own.. so he was never a rebound..
haiz.. maybe i should jus wait n see...
No comments:
Post a Comment